`Twas the Night Before Finals

I found this poem who-knows-where years ago and promptly memorized it. (It took very little effort.)

`Twas the night before finals
and all through the college
the students were praying
for last minute knowledge.
Though all were quite sleepy
none touched their beds
while visions of essays
danced in their heads.

Out in the taverns a few
were still drinking
hoping that liquor would
loosen their thinking.

My roommate was speechless
his nose in his books.
My comments to him
drew unfriendly looks.

I down some coffee and
brewed a new pot,
no longer caring that
my nerves were shot.

"Some pizza might help!"
I said with a shiver, but
each place I called
refused to deliver.

I was just concluding
that life was too cruel
with futures depending
on grades made in school,
when all of a sudden
the door opened wide,
and patron St. Put-it-Off
ambled inside.
His spirit was careless,
his manner was mellow,
and all of a sudden, he started to bellow!

"On Crib Notes! On Cliff Notes!
On last year's exams!
On wing it! On fling it!
On last minute crams!"

His message delivered,
he vanished from sight,
but I heard him laughing
far into the night.
Your teachers have pegged you,
so just do your best.
Happy finals to all,
and to all a good test!

--Author Unknown